Saturday, August 06, 2005

Want some hot coffee?

I'm staying up late just because I feel like ranting. By now I am sure that every Grand Theft Auto fan knows about "Hot Coffee". If you don't, you're a moron. Just joking. Some would say, "She's fourteen! She shouldn't know about this type of stuff!" Adults need to learn, we pretty much get the sex talk at the age of 10 from the TV. And it comes out better that way too. For those who don't know about "Hot Coffee", I can proudly tell you ALL about it. I have been following this damn thing since it was first a rumor and proud to say it.

The "Hot Coffee" scandal is a hidden mini game that was put behind "walls" in the GTA: San Andreas coding. Why, you ask? Simple. It's a sex mini-game. Many of you are gasping at this, but what do you expect from Rockstar? A mini-game where you capture monkeys with a little pink net? I don't think so. That's more of a Metal Gear 3 type of thing. G4TV was one of the first networks to actually go and seek the mini-game and actually found it. Believe me, they show the clip all the time.
Now this isn't the God of War type of Sex. It shows ALL, or whatever is behind the little black bar on TV. The mini-game is activated some way (I am not posting it for you little perverts out there) and can be accessed by taking your girlfriend back to the house, where she invites you in for hot coffee. After this, I cannot stop snickering everytime I hear someone say coffee. When she invites you in, well, it involves oral sex and synchronizing button pushing.

Enough said on that. Why do I bring up this horrible moment in gaming? Why oh why? Stop whining, for god's sake, you moron. Sorry, had a moment.
I wish to become a game designer, and when something like this gets challenged by Hilary Clinton and Politicians, you get worried. The damage it could do to future games could be massive, even forcing developers to cut down on violence and everything that makes a game rated Mature. Another thing: the old lady who is sueing because of this. She states that she had no clue what was in the game when she bought it for her grandson and is outraged that there is a sex mini-game in this! Apparently, prostitutes and shooting cops doesn't bother her. Fun grandma. Though we can't know the outcome of what will happen to games, continue to fight for them! If politicians try to take games down, like Bush was rumored to want to destroy Anime, then I suggest molotovs and Desert Eagles. Though swords do work nicely.


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